Going back to work…

us_hospital, originally uploaded by nikkifilo.

Monday is the day! The first week is just hospital orientation, but I will still be away from the kids all week! I can’t believe I have been out of work for 4 years!!! Seems like forever ago. At times I feel so regretful that I didn’t just stay on per diem…and then I realize that I really needed a mental break. I needed space and time and reflection. I needed a change in perspective. And we do what we need to do, right? So I did what I always dreamed of doing. I quit my job and became a stay at home mom. And I have loved every single minute of it. I have loved that I have not missed a thing. And I have loved the lack of worry…”will I have to work this holiday or that?” “will I miss special occasions” etc. And I am forever grateful that I was not working when we lost Lily, and the miscarriage that followed. I am grateful for the perspective 4 years of motherhood, grief, and just plain ol’ growing up has given me. I am going into nursing again a different woman. There are new sides to me. Although I considered myself pretty empathetic before, I now have empathy I couldn’t have dreamed of having. I have a stronger faith. And clearer perspective on what’s really important in life. Where to put my energy. Where not to. What to hold on to and what to let go of. I can “ignore” toxic people, and truly embrace those that are kind and compassionate and have so much to give. I’m ready to learn again. Ready to be an adult again. Ready to give back. So folks…wish me luck! I hope I can bounce back without too much trauma 😉